I don't know how to handle my fiance's abuse. His mood changes drastically, from elation to depression.?

My fiance has the worst mood swings I've seen in my life. We started dating a year and a half ago and we got engaged a few months ago. Typically he is very loving, affectionate, sweet and all, but his mood tends to change suddenly by some trivial things. He gets stressed very easily at work, mostly because of people issues. He is a very sensitive person. When he gets ticked off by something, his mood changes drastically from happy to depression/anger. When this happens, he does not want to talk about what's making him angry. He starts yelling at me and asks me to go away and disappear from his sight. He says to leave him alone. When the subject that ticks him off is me, he starts yelling at me and he is not afraid of throwing verbal insults at me. Before we got engaged, when he gets angry, he would push me out of his house and yell at me in my face. Since two months ago, he started punching the wall, throw things at me, and a month ago, he started hitting me in my legs, arms. A week ago, while at work, he yelled at me in the hallway and spitted on my face. Every time such things happen, he always comes back to me begging, apologizing, promising me that he would never do that. Shortly after we got engaged, I found out that his father has been physically and verbally abusing his mother. His mother has a rare skin condition and her skin is literally whitening in certain spots. This problem started when my fiance was 3-4 years old. His father used to threaten his mother saying that he would divorce her and take away the children. I used to wonder why sometimes when my fiance is on the phone with his mother, his mother cries a lot. He told me recently that she calls him when his father beats her up. My fiance tries his level best to console his mother but nothing he says consoles her and he gets frustrated. My fiance's younger sister recently got married, and the couple fights all the time. His younger sister also has bad mood swings, and she yells at her brother (my fiance) all the time. Today, my fiance stopped by my house to make tea for me, got ticked off by something I did or said, yelled at me, pushed me around, and left me after verbally insulting me. I don't know what to do to resolve this problem. I don't know what I can do to help him. Our wedding is at the end of this year, in December. I'm very saddened by this and I'm not looking forward to our lives together. But, before giving up, is there something I can do to save him? save both of us from this mess?I don't know how to handle my fiance's abuse. His mood changes drastically, from elation to depression.?
Wow, this is awful. I'm so sorry that you're going through this.



First of all he sounds very bipolar and it is a genetic disease so that would also perhaps explain his father, but no matter what he should not be hitting you!



But, ultimately you need to take care of yourself before you try to help him. Maybe what he really needs is a wake up call and you leaving would be a good thing for him.I don't know how to handle my fiance's abuse. His mood changes drastically, from elation to depression.?
Your fiance' may have bipolar disorder. (manic depressive behavior). He may be ';rapid cycling'; a condition where one moment he is up, then way down. A simple visit to a doctor, then possibly a psychiatrist for a blood test will tell all. If he does not agree to get help, DUMP him now. This won't get better by itself. It's a chemical imbalance that only medication can fix. Below is a list of sites you can compare him to. Either way, he needs help. ';I'm sorry'; doesn't cut it.
If he's already acting violent then you can be positive that very soon his rage will escalate into full-blown physical attacks against you. I'm really sorry he sounds like he has a lot of emotional family baggage that won't be so easy to move on from without therapy (which I am a huge fan of, I was skeptical until I started sessions and it WORKS). I know you probably love him, but a year and a half is a little early to decide this is someone you plan to be committed to for the rest of your life. And..I say the rest of your life because more often than not in these types of relationships, the abuser ends up killing the abusee. I'm really sorry to say that but he sounds violent and unpredictable and not in control of his emotions at all and that is a very scary thing. Postpone the wedding and see if your fiance can't get help with his anger issues. If he can't, then really, for the safety of you and your future children, LEAVE. Also it sounds like the whole family has issues, is that the type of environment you want to bring children into?
These mood swings are not good, and it sounds like the abuse is escalating. I'd take a step back on the engagement and insist he seek professional help.

The mood swings he and his sister suffer may well stem from what they opserved while growing up. If dad virbally and or physical abbused their mother while they were around they just assume this is concidered normal.

The depression can be controled with medication, the anger issues need medical intervention.

Good luck and God bless.
two words for you GET OUT